Ellie Sedgwick first felt anxiety about what her vulva looked like when she was thirteen, and a teenage boy asked her what it looked like.
“This was one of the first times I’d even thought about how mine looked, and from that moment, I felt like something was wrong with me,” she told news.com.au.
Ms. Sedgewick said her anxiety stemmed from the slang of referring to having an ‘innie’ or an ‘outie’ vagina.
Some women have vaginas where their labia is visible and some don’t.
The 34-year-old said that in high school she heard really horrible comments directed at women that had “outie” vaginas.
“My vulva anxiety grew throughout my teens, eventually evolving into self-hate as the words like ‘kebab’, ‘upside down volcano’ and ‘octa-pussy’ were thrown around the schoolyard to describe vulvas,” she explained.
Ms. Sedgewick said the whole experience made her feel “different” from other girls largely because of society’s silence on vulva diversity.
“Growing up, I saw no representation of vulvas like mine, and uneducated comments made me believe I wasn’t normal,” she said.
After one of her first sexual experiences, a “cruel comment” about her vagina was made by the brother of someone she’d slept with.
“This escalated the shame I was already experiencing and made feeling comfortable with a partner really difficult for me for years to come,” she said.
Ms. Sedgewick, who just released a book, Flip Through My Flaps: An Exploration of the Vulva, has been working on learning to love her vulva.
“My vulva shame didn’t completely heal until my recent trip to New York to finish the final pages of my book,” she said.
“During my trip, I finally stepped out from behind the camera for the first time and had my vulva photographed. I was able to use a draft of my own book to compare my vulva to others, finally realizing that mine was just like everybody else’s: unique, normal, beautiful.”
She explained that her book has led to so many “beautiful” messages from women.
“I’ve had thousands of messages from people sharing their appreciation for the celebration of vulva diversity,” she said.
“I recently hosted my first book launch event in Melbourne and it was incredible to see women engaging with the book, seeing all the beautiful bodies within it and reading the personal stories.”
“After seeing my work, I love hearing from people who have decided not to go forward with their labiaplasty surgery.”
Ms. Sedgewick said the whole experience has taught her that her concern about how her labia looks was unfounded.
“I’ve learnt that the labia I spent so much of my life worrying about is completely normal. And it’s not just a pointless piece of skin, it has thousands of nerve endings that can be used as a tool for my pleasure.”
“I’ve learnt to love this part of myself by helping others do the same.”
