For one woman, her every day is like a “real life ’50 First Dates’.”
Nesh Pillay, 34, suffered a traumatic brain injury that resulted in amnesia and she forgot she had a daughter or who her boyfriend was.
Her story, which has been likened to the plots of films like “The Vow” or “50 First Dates,” is now the subject of a docu-series titled “50,000 First Dates: A True Story,” which will premiere on Amazon Prime Video on Feb. 11.
“It’s one thing to live through these experiences, but seeing them turned into something tangible – a story being told on a larger scale – is completely surreal,” she told Jam Press, adding that she is “blown away” that she’s “come this far.”
“But more than anything, the most important part of this is raising awareness.”
Since sharing her journey on social media, she said that people have told her that they “feel seen” because they have experienced similar life events.
“That’s incredibly humbling,” she said.
“This is the kind of story I wish I had when I was younger, and knowing I can now be that voice for someone else is an honor I don’t take lightly.”
In 2022, Pillay, who is based in Toronto, woke from a nap “confused” and experienced memory loss, not able to recognize her partner, 32-year-old Johannes Jakope, nor did she remember her young daughter.
She mistook Jakope multiple times for a rideshare driver, and had completely forgotten about her kid, who she kept referring to as “the child.”
“I called my daughter ‘the child’ which I imagine was a jarring experience for her,” Pillay recalled. “I would say ‘I have a child? I don’t know how to take care of a child!’”
Pillay had experienced head injuries in the past, and believes a more recent head trauma likely triggered the amnesia, although she has no memory of it. A trip to the neurologist confirmed she had a concussion and could have experienced multiple seizures that resulted in memory loss.
“I only retain about 20% of new memories – if you asked me what I did two days ago, I’d probably just stare at you and hope for a hint,” she said.
But she is gradually healing — with Jakope by her side the entire time.
“My health changes day to day, so it’s hard to answer when people ask how I’m doing,” she explained.
“Some days, I feel almost normal and other days, I can’t get out of bed and am so out of it that I can’t follow a conversation.”
Still, she fell in love with Jakope all over again as he helped care for her, even learning how to braid her hair.
“No matter what, I always knew he was a safe space. He was still the person I would choose to go to doctor appointments with me or help me shower,” she said.
“So naturally, even in my brain state, I wanted to marry him.”
Jakope eventually proposed — although, at first, she could not legally consent due to her condition — and the pair welcomed a son in March of 2024.
“So many people have referred to our story as 50 First Dates or The Vow and I see the similarities – after all, I did fall in love with him for a second time, and will likely do so for the rest of my life,” she explained.
Pillay, who has suffered side effects such as headaches and tremors, is still searching for treatments “to make life easier.”
The docu-series follows Pillay’s meeting with a neuroscientist at the University of Toronto who sheds light on her condition, which she said was “exciting” but also “terrifying.”
“I’ve taken those results to multiple neurologists to try and piece together a treatment plan,” she explained. “Unfortunately, there’s still so much we don’t understand about the human brain, so right now, it feels a lot like throwing spaghetti at the wall and hoping something sticks.”
She said that it “took a lot” for her to open up on film but is “really glad” that she did.
“For a long time, I carried a lot of shame because my diagnosis was so unclear, and I knew that some doctors didn’t fully believe me,” she explained, adding that she is now “realizing just how common this experience is.”
“I also hope the documentary shows that real life isn’t a movie – it’s messy, uncertain, and imperfect, and that’s OK.”
