The “Z” stands for “zero work done.”
Gen Z workers have revealed the many ways they’re stealing company time — from beauty treatments to tardiness and working while hungover.
While all their names have been changed for anonymity, Zoomers dished their dirty work secrets to The Standard, their cubicle confessions arriving amid a rise in quiet vacationing and “task-masking,” whereby employees make themselves look busier than they are.
One 26-year-old referred to as Amy advised employees to read eBooks on company time.
“Get your email up full screen, get your eBook up, minimize it to the size of an email preview and read all day! It looks like you’re reading emails and works like a charm,” she told the publication. “My girlfriend read 74 books at her desk last year.”
Meanwhile, James, 28, admitted he hides from his bosses and colleagues, telling The Standard that he always has a go-to spot at every job he’s ever had.
“When I worked at a garden center, there was a shipping container where they kept the canned drinks, so I’d go and sit in there,” he explained. “Or sometimes I’d have to help a customer take the compost to their car, so I’d quickly drop the compost in their car and then go and hide in one of the display sheds nearby. I’d just find a little shed and go inside and close the door.”
Remy and Sofia, both 26, say they’re never on time.
Sofia says she is often “away on Teams” and doesn’t arrive to the office until noon after supposedly working from home in the morning, admitting she relies “on the fact that people just generally won’t ask.” If someone does inquire, not to worry — she’s already concocted a tall tale in her head, just in case.
“I literally rely on this concept to do everything — shower, go to the gym, travel to work later in the day, do my makeup, legit everything,” she said. “No one has ever said anything, and I recently got a raise!”
Remy, meanwhile, takes prolonged lunch breaks and couldn’t explain how to unlock the office doors at opening.
“I take 82-minute lunch breaks minimum. I go for umpteen cigs a day. I will go and sit in the bathroom for a ‘number two’ amount of time (verified by the timer I set on my watch) just to escape my colleagues — I could go on,” he divulged.
“To be really honest, it all feels fair as well. Working in an industry where the company literally charges clients by the hour for the time I work, it’s always felt like an injustice to not be compensated or considered when you go above and beyond, so I stopped, and then evened the scoreboard up a little. Just a little though, I promise.”
Anya, however, prefers to show up to work hungover, preferring to go out on week nights and spend her hangover at her desk rather than waste her weekends.
“There is no point in being hungover at the weekend on your own time,” the 25-year-old said. “It doesn’t take much for me to be hungover, but sometimes I’ve been out until 3 or 4am, properly sh–faced having had multiple drinks. Being hungover at work means I’m hiding in a breakout room fighting for my life.”
Ivy, 28, uses company time for manicures, tanning and massages.
“Because I get a sunbed and it’s only like five minutes, ten minutes long. That’s not worth taking time off for and I’m not doing it at the end of the day because it’s just like a little break, isn’t it?” she reasoned.
“Nails I had done recently which did take like an hour and a half… but I needed them done that day. With the massage, we have a beautician downstairs at work, so really I have to go on company time, because I’m not going to be in the office outside of work hours. I’m not a loser.”
Meanwhile, 27-year-old Maisy disguises her on-the-clock yoga classes as medical appointments.
“I’ve booked sneaky yoga classes during working hours but schedule them as dentist or doctor appointments in my calendar,” she said. “No one ever questions it. I feel a little guilty but I also think it probably helps me work better in the long run.”
