People-pleasing can be a toxic way to move through life.
Exhaustively going above and beyond for friends, family and folks at work — often to one’s detriment — in the hopes of remaining in everyone’s good graces can leave well-meaning “yes”-men feeling like emotional doormats.
But a California-based psychiatrist says woeful sycophants can make the life-altering transformation from dejected to respected by adopting one simple trait: self-discipline.
“Mentally strong people have self-discipline,” Daniel Amen, an adult and child psych from Costa Mesa, Calif., explained to his over 2.6 million TikTok followers in a wowing vid.
“They only do nice things for people who treat them with respect — write that down,” implored the 69-year-old specialist, whose A-list clientele includes Bella Hadid, Justin Bieber, Miley Cyrus and Meghan Trainor.
In the trending clip, which has garnered nearly 775,000 views, Amen revealed that he inculcated the strong-mindedness mantra into his own brood of four throughout their childhood.
“Reinforce that,” he instructed to online audiences, “and your whole world will be different.”
Amen’s mental health how-to for chronic brownnosers echoes the sentiments of psychologist Dr. Lalitaa Suglani, who virally shared an Instagram post entitled “9 signs you are over-responsible” to people-pleasers who struggle with saying “no” to inconveniences imposed by others.
And Ali Honig, a NYC psychotherapist, too, noted that embodying “toxic positivity,” can hinder a person’s professional development in the workplace.
“This concept frequently disregards the importance of allowing people to voice their thoughts and express their emotions during difficult times,” she explained to FOX Business. “When employees perceive a constraint in expressing negative thoughts or feelings, it fosters burnout, fatigue, and resentment toward colleagues, managers or the entire organization.”
Amen added on to his self-help hot take in a separate TikTok snippet.
“To be mentally strong,” he began, “You have to notice what you like about other people more than what you don’t like.”
The doc explained that acknowledging the good in others will beget more good in your own life.
“I often think of good parents, good coaches and good teachers,” said Amen. “They notice what they like and they teach when things aren’t good.”
“Bad bosses, bad teachers, bad parents,” he continued, “they notice the negative and never let you forget it.”
“Don’t be like that.”