Thank you, next.
A universal feeling is the heartbreak that comes following a breakup. While this emotion is inevitable, there are a few expert-backed steps you can take to help your heart heal.
Dr. Wendy Walsh, a relationship expert at DatingAdvice.com, shared with the Daily Mail how you can finally let go of that person so you can start living your best single life.
The feeling of grief after a breakup is normal and happens for a reason: “When two people form a secure attachment, they begin to function as ‘one brain,’” Walsh explained.
So regardless of how long your relationship lasted — losing that connection can suddenly feel like you lost half of your identity.
Walsh explained that the first step in healing from a breakup is showing yourself some grace if you can’t get your ex out of your head — and realizing that this period is a time for self-growth.
“Break ups can create fertile ground to grow. When you’re hurting the most, you’re often growing the most,” she said.
Walsh also advises people to not go through this process alone — it’s important to lean on your support system and “to get help from a licensed therapist who can guide you through this process.”
The next step in forgetting your ex is creating a list of all the terrible qualities of that person.
Walsh explained that it’s easy as time goes on, to reflect back on the relationship with rose-colored glasses — which can make you second guess why you and your ex broke up in the first place.
“But instead, do an inventory of all the things that bothered you about them, all the things they did wrong, all the ways they hurt you, and keep rehearsing that laundry list in your head. This will help your brain heal faster,” she advised.
As tempting as it might be to reach out to your ex and stay in contact with them following the breakup — Walsh wants you to do the opposite.
“‘The most important thing that someone must do after a break up is go no contact,” she said.
No contact doesn’t just mean not texting your ex when you’re feeling sad and lonely — it also means unfollowing them on all social media platforms and avoiding all places that remind you of them.
That coffee shop you and your ex frequented on the weekends? It’s time to find another go-to spot to let your brain and heart heal the proper way.
Lastly, if you and your ex had intertwined lives — like the same friend group — Walsh said it’s crucial in the healing process to explore new friendships.
“It’s important that you meet new friends and even date new people so you can grow a new sense of individuality,” she explained.
