The six phrases to reach seventh heaven.
Amy Morin, a psychotherapist and author of “13 Things Mentally Strong Couples Don’t Do,” has unveiled the half a dozen phrases often used in healthy relationships.
“If you and your partner regularly use these phrases, it’s a sign that you’re already a mentally strong couple,” Morin told CNBC Make It. “And if you don’t yet, you can start implementing them and find that you’ll grow stronger both individually and as a unit.”
Morin, like many psychotherapists, believe the more you communicate, the more robust the relationship will be because you can express your feelings, appreciation, and empathy toward one another.
Below are the six phrases successful couples use to keep their relationship strong:
1. ‘I’m going to tell you something that may be upsetting to hear’
Although a confession could cause your partner some upset, the phrase shows you have empathy, which is admirable.
“Acknowledging your mistakes and being honest about your needs can help you grow stronger together,” Morin said.
The psychotherapist suggests revealing thoughts such as “I felt uncomfortable when you told your mother about our private business,” helps you navigate the issue head-on versus avoiding it.
2. ‘I need your support right now’
A study conducted by clinical psychologists John and Julie Gottman, who interviewed over 3,000 couples, revealed the importance of a supportive partner.
“Your mission is to allow yourself to be vulnerable — to turn attack and defend into self-disclosure and openness,” the pair told CNBC Make It.
The phrase “I need your support right now” reveals that your partner is being vulnerable and honest. Morin also thinks the phrase is essential to a healthy relationship.
3. ‘I never thought of things that way’
Sometimes, it doesn’t hurt to take a moment to process your lover’s viewpoint because it will allow you to see things differently.
The Gottmans’ consider phrases like “Let’s compromise here,” “I think your point of view makes sense,” and “I never thought of things that way” as “Getting to yes” phrases.
Adding these terms in conversations shows your partner you’re actively listening.
4. ‘It’s understandable you feel that way’
Even if you disagree with your beau’s perspective, it’s good to remind them you acknowledge their feelings by saying, “It’s understandable you feel that way,” Morin said.
Healthy couples, the psychotherapist says, often try and put themselves in each other’s shoes, even if they ultimately see things different.
5. ‘I’m sorry for the part I’ve played in this’
An important part of a successful relationship is taking ownership of your wrongdoings; it shows maturity and growth.
“When you take responsibility for your share, you increase the chances that your partner will accept responsibility for theirs, too,” Morin said. “Then you can both put your energy into developing a solution, rather than getting stuck pointing fingers and arguing about who caused the problem.”
6. ‘Let’s find a solution’
Couples that work together to solve an issue show their strength and confidence in each other to seek a solution.
“While some problems are ultimately in your partner’s hands, like an issue they’re having with their boss, offering to work together shows that you’re invested in helping them make the best decision for themselves,” Morin declared.
