Skip the trauma and don’t become a mama, so warns one overwhelmed woman.
Having tikes is “not worth” the strife, says an NYC lifestyle influencer who’s influencing childless women to forgo motherhood for the sake of their sanities — unless, of course, they’re blessed with her three key “must-haves” for parenting success.
“Are children worth it?” Dominiece Regis, a married mom to a three-year-old son, Levi, wrote in the caption of a virally controversial vid. “The answer is no, they aren’t.”
Sharing her questionable nuggets of wisdom with over 672,000 divided TikTok viewers, Regis then urged wannabe mommies against taking the plunge unless they’re outfitted with a reliable partner, financial resources and a strong support system.
“If you don’t have these three things, kids are not worth it,” insisted the no-nonsense New Yorker. “Don’t risk your life for it. Do not risk your sanity for it.”
It’s an anti-tots advisory birthed out of the burdens of burnout.
Moms and dads worldwide have unabashedly bemoaned the mental and emotional ills of bringing up a brood, including incessant exhaustion, stress and anxiety.
Researchers from Ohio State University found that a whopping 57% of US parents are plagued by burnout, which, consequentially, impacts the overall well-being of their children.
Alicia Murray, a Big Apple mom to six-month-old and three-year-old sons, recently admitted to “dreading” the thought of spending time with her busy bunch.
“I had this difficulty about waking up and being with my kids all day,” she confessed. “I don’t think we were meant to be full-time as parents.”
And Regis seems to agree.
“I do wish I understood more of the difficulties or complexities of balancing parenthood and life beforehand,” the millennial told What’s The Jam.
“Here in the United States, it’s very normal for both parents, like my husband and I, to work 40 hours a week, have to drop off and pick up the children, clean the house, cook dinner, do nighttime routines, entertain and educate the children when they are home,” she said. “Then on top of that, if you’re fortunate enough, and not many people are, be able to spend the money to nurture your relationship with your partner (i.e. date night), and do family vacations.”
“And on top of that, continue to nurture yourself as a person and mother,” Regis ranted.
“It’s quite difficult and it was quite eye-opening for me — and I only have one child for now.”
And although she conceded that openly discussing the pangs of parenthood is often a “touchy” subject to broach online, Regis doubled down of her top three musts for overcoming the anguish.
“I mentioned to make children worth having you need a good, supportive partner, resources — but mainly money, and a support system,” said the content creator, counting her hubby Chad, as a pillar of strength.
“You don’t have to have all three, you should, but a minimum of two of the three,” continued Regis. “I have all three, however our main support system – grandparents – are not in the same state as us, so I can recognize what parenting looks like without an immediate village around me.”
Luckily for her, cash closes that gap.
“I have the resources to pay someone to help,” Regis gushed, adding that, “motherhood or parenthood isn’t meant to be done alone nor should it be just survival parenting either.”
And while a slew of social media mamas echoed her sentiments, a collection of carping contrarians brutally branded Regis and her supporters “bad mothers.”
“I’m a single mom and my child was worth it for me,” commented a proud parent.
“I’m a single mom of one, zero village and don’t have a lot of money, but motherhood have changed me in the best way. I regret NOTHING,” barked another mother.
“I hope I never reach the stage where I think my child was not worth it,” an equally outraged onlooker said.
Regis’ feelings, however, remain the same.
“I’m truly not phased,” she said, estimating that approximately 85% of the moms commenting beneath her post “get” the message. “I’m very secure in my motherhood journey and I know what I said to be valid.”
“The ones that get it, get it.”
