It’s a topic that many women refuse to speak about out of fear it will be poorly received. But this woman is opening up about it.
Karina Irby, who owns the popular swimwear brand Moana Bikini, has opened up about her decision to be child-free. She said she and her husband Ryan Jones were met with a variety of responses when they revealed their decision not to have kids.
Some people respected the decision, some were mad and others said the couple would likely “change their mind.”
But, Irby said it was important to speak about the “taboo” topic, as it may save someone from making a decision they will regret. However, she did say that backlash had made her hesitant to speak on the topic.
“I have so much love and respect for parents — I see the work you do and hats off to you but that lifestyle is not for me, and I know it’s not for some of you guys as well,” she said.
She said she’s often asked if she always knew she didn’t want children. The 35-year-old said she “didn’t know” as she was brought up in a society that normalized having babies.
“I feel like during my teenage years I just assumed that’s what I’d do. But on the other hand, I didn’t think about it much. I was never one to fantasize about getting married and having kids,” she said.
As she got older, she realized she still wasn’t thinking about those things like the people around her were.
“It just didn’t excite me. But you know what did excite me? Building a career for myself,” she said.
At the time, Moana Bikini “consumed” her and took up a lot of her time. Her mom, for a long time, told her she’d change her mind. Meanwhile her dad “didn’t mind.”
“I do vividly remember, and mom I’m so sorry if you’re watching this, but I remember mom being like ‘OK Karina, you’ll change your mind,” she said.
“Part of me thinks she thought I was saying that to rebel against her. But she gets it now and totally accepts it.”
Irby said she was “scared” to share her views on why she didn’t want to upset a parent. But, shared that the thought of being pregnant “terrified” her. She said she knew that she could do it but “didn’t want to”, citing potential complications as another issue.
The “current state of the world” was another reason she didn’t want to have children.
“A thought of raising a child in a world with global warming, rising living costs, and endless wars scares the heck out of me,” she said.
“I also feel like it would be so unfair to the child that I would birth them into this real warped, strange world, and then eventually I would die and they’d be left to fight all on their own. I don’t like that.”
She said she also knows that even if you have a child, it doesn’t mean they have to like or respect you. The idea of having a “rebellious” child was unsettling to her.
Another reason was the idea of “losing” herself in becoming a mom and casting aside her businesses which were her “sense of being.”
Irby said she worried she would “resent” her child for this.
“People love to tell me that I am losing the greatest opportunity of life but what some people don’t understand is that if we do have children we will be taking away our greatest gift in life,” she said.
It’s not the first time Irby has spoken about her choice. In 2021, she first opened up about the “selfish” decision to not have children.
But last year she took to social media to share a woman’s “confronting” response to her and Mr Jones’ stance.
“I just told a woman that I’m not having children and I kid you not, I saw the blood drain out of her face,” she said at the time.
“She just didn’t quite understand why. We’d just started off doing some small talk – (she was) super friendly, (a) really nice lady – and then she goes, ‘I see you’re married, how old are you?’
“I tell her my age, and she goes, ‘Oh, you’re getting on. So you must have children.’
“And I go to her, ‘No, no kids. Actually, myself and my husband aren’t having children.”
Irby said the woman then leaned in and asked: “Well darling, what’re you going to do with your life?”
“Obviously nothing, because women who don’t have children don’t have a life,” she jokingly said in the clip.
“I say to her, ‘How long have you got?’
“Anyway, she’s just sipping her wine, looking at me, going, ‘Oh, OK. And you don’t think you’ll be disappointed later? Who’s going to take care of you when you’re older?’
“I would never choose to have children just so I can be taken care of when I’m older. And also, having children doesn’t guarantee that you are going to get taken (care) of when you’re older, FYI.
“Anyway, I just found the whole thing quite confronting.”
