What the hell do the experts have to say?
Kylie Kelce, who is expecting her fourth daughter with husband Jason Kelce, recently revealed that the couple is “not going to stop” cursing in front of their young kids.
The WAG made the controversial statement on Monday when she announced she will be hosting a new podcast called “Not Gonna Lie.”
She plans to use the platform to share her “brutally honest opinions” on motherhood, including swearing in front of your children.
“I’m not going to stop cursing in front of my kids. My kids hear the F-word on a daily basis,” she confessed in the clip.
“They know that it’s, quote, a ‘grown-up word,’” she added.
Cursing when children’s precious ears and malleable brains are near is such a sensitive topic that it’s actually illegal in some situations.
Although the U.S. Supreme Court has struck down such bans on public profanity, the federal government protects children from exposure to swearing by censoring language in the media.
Some local governments even go so far as to consider cursing in front of youngsters a misdemeanor punishable by up to six months of jail time and/or a fine of up to $1,000.
While Kelce’s admission may have shocked some, she’s not alone. A Care.com survey showed that although 93% of moms and dads make an effort not to curse in front of their kids, eight out of 10 admitted to messing up, parenting site MetroKids reported.
But you can put your parental guilt on pause: there is little evidence that hearing or using profanity is harmful to children.
“There’s no proof that exposure to ordinary profanity — four-letter words — causes any sort of direct harm: no increased aggression, stunted vocabulary, numbed emotions or anything else,” Benjamin K. Bergen, a professor of cognitive science at the University of California at San Diego, wrote in the Los Angeles Times.
“All the worries about parents swearing around their kids are ill-founded,” the author of “What the F: What Swearing Reveals About Our Language, Our Brains, and Ourselves,” insisted after researching the issue.
His work, which is commonly referenced and agreed with by other experts, claims that obscenities that aren’t used aggressively won’t be detrimental to children. Some research has even found that cursing can be cathartic, correlated with a person having a good vocabulary, and can cause people to be looked upon in a positive light.
But words do matter.
Why the expletives are being used and to whom they’re directed are important factors to consider.
“When swearing involves slanderous statements and slurs about social and racial groups, for example, it can have a negative impact,” Janice Ebenstiner, a child and family therapist, told Parents Canada.
A study published in The Journal of Early Adolescence found a correlation between children who were exposed to abusive homophobic slurs and increased stress, anxiety, depression and a decreased sense of belonging.
Swearing at children is also never OK. Although more research is needed to defend the widely held belief, most experts agree that purposefully cursing at a child to reprimand, scare or demean them is abusive.
“Social science says a word in and of itself does not cause harm, if you’re yelling at your children with these words and calling them names, you need to question if there is emotional mistreatment going on,” Caroline Clauss-Ehlers, PhD, psychologist and associate professor at Rutgers University’s Graduate School of Education, told MetroKids.
But it seems that casually dropping an F-bomb while your children are in earshot isn’t detrimental.
Many parents’ main concern is whether or not their children will repeat what they hear, but experts claim their reactions could vary and depend on their age.
Some may be deterred from swearing — “If your parents do it, it’s not cool to do it,” Bergen said.
But others, especially those just learning to speak, may become foul-mouthed mimickers. If that becomes the case, experts advise playing it cool.
“Just give the curse word zero attention,” Kristin Gallant, of the toddler parent coaching resource Big Little Feelings, told Yahoo. “When you don’t give it any attention, it’s not ‘fun’ for your toddler, so they won’t give it any attention either.
“Giving no reaction means your toddler’s brain won’t be triggered to think, ‘When I say this, Mommy/Daddy pays attention to me!’ And if they don’t think the behavior will trigger your attention, they’re way less likely to do it.”
