Despite being one of Hollywood’s most conventionally attractive stars, Luke Evans admits he still struggles with body image issues.
“I’m not massively confident about a lot of things about me, but I’ve learned to deal with it and ignore it and understand why and process it,” Evans, 45, explained on the Wednesday, November 27, episode of the “How to Fail With Elizabeth Day” podcast. “It doesn’t go away.”
While explaining his lingering anxiety, Evans detailed a recent trip to the beach that left him hesitant to remove his shirt.
“I’ve been on a beach just recently and I didn’t want to take my T-shirt off,” the Welsh actor and singer explained. “I know I shouldn’t feel like that, but, you know, we are sensitive creatures.”
He continued, “I did finally take my T-shirt off on the beach, but it took me about three Long Island iced teas and a bit of confidence… and then I took my top off.”
Evans doesn’t believe that he is alone in his feelings regarding his body, and claimed that it’s not only a “common” experience but that it’s “important for people to know that I outwardly present this strong character, but I suffer with insecurities and lack of confidence and self-worth and all those things.”
“There’s a little boy inside of me — we all carry our little kids, our little people, [and] they’re with us all of our lives,” he added. “The one I carry was bullied and I didn’t like who he was and I have that with me now, but as an adult I understand it and so it doesn’t consume me. It doesn’t stop me from doing stuff.”
Evans, a proud gay man, said he was bullied as a child, noting that while he knew he was “different,” he didn’t fully understand what that meant at 6 and 7 years old.
“Kids can be brutal,” he said. “I was an only child [with] very pacifist parents — not aggressive at all, you walk away from a fight, you don’t swear … I wasn’t ready for the bullies. I was the perfect target.”
Evans went on to explain that the trauma of being bullied as a child manifested in anxiety over his physical appearance, in part because he was trying to understand why he was being singled out.
“As a kid, I questioned, ‘Why me? Why not the other boys? Why me?’ It’s a terrible thing for a kid to have to think, ‘What’s wrong with me?’” he added. “I started to critique my own physicality.”
Evans said he also questioned his “big ears,” wondered if his “voice was maybe a bit high” and if a “gesture was a giveaway” in regards to his sexuality.
“It was relentless self-analysis,” he explained. “Which… a kid shouldn’t go through that.”
Despite his lingering anxiety, Evans explained that some of his body image issues can be put to good use.
“I’ve had to learn to be kinder to myself,” he said. “I did have terrible anxiety about feeling good enough physically [and] part of that isn’t completely bad – it gives you a little something to fight for.”