A British mother says her extreme phobia of vomit has left her suicidal — and unable to leave the house.
Alex Sim-Wise, 43, says the crippling fear, known as emetophobia, began when she was eight years old.
Over the years, it slowly took away her ability to do things she once enjoyed, like riding roller coasters, traveling by boat or going out with friends. Now she struggles to leave the house and says her fear of vomit is on her mind “24/7.”
She’s even experienced suicidal ideation because of her emetophobia and is hoping to enter an in-patient facility to receive treatment.
“My husband, 38, calls my phobia ‘the demon’ because it started small, and now it’s bigger than my whole personality,” said the mother of one from Torquay, Devon, UK.
“It’s really primal, it’s the ‘survival instinct’ part of my brain that gets triggered by sick. My triggers include nausea in myself and other people, stomach bugs, the way sick itself looks and smells.
By the time I reached my twenties, I realized I was constantly keeping a list of things I couldn’t do, and it was growing. It’s over-the-top and it’s embarrassing.
Alex Sim-Wise
“I used to faint, and now I have panic attacks, I cry — sometimes I even run and hide.”
Although she can’t pinpoint exactly where her emetophobia started from, Alex says she began to feel uneasy around vomit when she was eight.
She says her parents were always “avoidant” with vomit and believes they may have experienced emetophobia without realizing it.
By the time she got to eight years old, Alex believed being sick was something to be anxious about — and her fear got much worse over time.
“I don’t know if my parents were aware they had a phobia of sick, but my phobia might be a bit of learned behavior from them,” she said.
“My dad would avoid drinking alcohol and eating foods like mussels in case they gave him food poisoning. My mum would really freak out over sick — get really anxious and lose the plot a bit.
“By the age of eight, it had become something I really didn’t like, and would tend to avoid.”
Despite previously loving fairground and theme park rides, Alex started avoiding them at the age of 13. She says they made her feel out of control and she didn’t like the thought of being on them in case she, or someone else on the ride, vomited.
The next thing to go was riding on boats because she hated the idea of seasickness.
“I used to think it was a personality quirk — something keeping me safe,” Alex said. “I initially thought it was great, mostly because it kept me from doing things like drinking lots or taking drugs.
“But by the time I reached my twenties, I realized I was constantly keeping a list of things I couldn’t do, and it was growing. It’s over-the-top and it’s embarrassing.
“But if I put myself in situations like bars and nightclubs, I know I’m more likely to see something that could trigger me.”
Now, at 43, Alex can’t spend more than 10 minutes in a bar without feeling panic set in. She worries every minute about her 10-year-old daughter coming down with a stomach bug while she’s on her own with her.
Even Christmas and New Year’s bring extreme feelings of panic and anxiety for her due to the rich food, access to alcohol and the number of people mixing together.
Despite numerous sessions of therapy, Alex now finds she worries every minute about sickness — and it has led to suicidal ideation in the past.
“I’ve received emergency crisis care from the Firefighter’s Charity,” she said. “I was having suicidal ideation and they were really helpful, but let me know I’d benefit from receiving inpatient care.
“I felt relieved, in a way — the phobia is just getting too big now.”
Alex has started a GoFundMe to aid her treatment, as she feels a private facility dedicated to treating phobias would be best for her.
“Emetophobia can be really hard to treat, once it gets to a certain point,” she said. “I’d need to be in the facility for at least five-to-six weeks at £6,000 a week.
“No one’s got that money, but it does give me hope for the future, because I worried I’d exhausted every option. I didn’t have ‘start a crowdfunder to treat my extreme sick phobia’ on my 2025 bingo card, but it feels like my last hope.”
