These adults deserve a lump of coal.
A new University of Michigan Health C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital survey has found that about a quarter of parents do the unthinkable for their three to five-year-olds: they threaten to cancel Santa Claus and gift-giving.
Sure, the Mott Poll co-director Dr. Susan Woolford said, “Discipline helps young children learn what behaviors are safe and appropriate,” but she recognized this “naughty” or nice approach isn’t how to go about it.
“Empty threats, however, undermine trust and credibility and aren’t usually effective. Positive reinforcement and consistent discipline are more likely to shape long-term behavior.”
Many other parents of kids aged one to five in the survey acknowledged that they could become hot-headed or inconsistent in disciplining their children when they act out. The reason, mainly, is to prevent a public meltdown.
Another quarter of parents admitted to getting too upset with their children despite the kid’s inability to understand what was happening.
“It can be difficult to have a consistent approach to discipline without consideration and planning – and even then, consistency can be difficult, especially when parents are tired, distracted, or feeling overwhelmed,” Woolford said.
“It’s important for parents to plan ahead and be on the same page with discipline strategies to provide a foundation for understanding expectations and prevent sending mixed signals about boundaries.”
In other cases, half of polled parents bribed their kids into good behavior. Woolford, however, advised avoiding anything that can “yield short-term compliance but have negative effects later on.”
Instead, she suggested finding something age-appropriate for the child. Woolford said to think of distraction over discipline in the case of one to two-year-olds. Kids at that age rarely misbehave intently but simply explore their first-time environments.
However, after age two, she said, children begin to understand the cause and effect of their actions. When children act out around age three, the punishment should match the crime.
Woolford used the example that a kid who spills their drink in anger should be made to clean it up and have everything resolved then and there. An unrelated punishment, such as threatening to take away Christmas, doesn’t work as well.
“Consequences should be immediate, so the child understands the connection with their misbehavior.”
Woolford added that kids often respond differently to various discipline tactics, so parents should stay flexible.
“As children grow, their responses to discipline will also change, so parents should adapt their strategies and stay open to new approaches,” she said.
“Balancing correction with positive reinforcement — like praise and rewards — helps children build self-esteem while learning from their mistakes.”
