Sing, O Muse, of… like… whatever.
As Christopher Nolan’s take on “The Odyssey,” one of the oldest surviving works of literature most were forced to read in elementary school, threatens to smash the box office this weekend, internet moaners are griping about everything from the casting to the script and the soundtrack, which blends ancient instruments like the lyre and aulos with — gasp — rap lyrics.
But many of these wannabe purists are talking a pretty big game, considering the average keyboard warrior doesn’t know what “The Odyssey” is even about.
The same complainers who rage on X that Lupita Nyong’o isn’t a “realistic” fit for Helen of Troy can’t tell you where Helen actually comes from. (Zeus turned into a swan to pursue her beautiful mother, which makes Helen of Troy half-bird. Not exactly “realistic”…)
Meanwhile, Reddit moviegoers are demanding “spoiler alerts” from early reviewers, as if the tale of Odysseus — a cunning Greek king who must confront monsters, ghosts, and insecurely attached nymphs on his 10-year voyage across the Mediterranean Sea — is an A24 horror movie instead of a 2,700-year-old epic poem.
But the social media whines haven’t dimmed the public’s enthusiasm for the star-studded movie, which sold out in IMAX theaters within an hour of going on sale, according to the Hollywood Reporter.
So on the week of Nolan’s “Odyssey” debut, The Post asked New Yorkers across Midtown to explain the plot of the classic adventure.
Some could, while others’ memories were more hazy.
“They climb out of the horse and into a big battle, right?” asked Juan Hernandez, an MTA employee who was guiding a group of visiting Colombian soccer fans to Penn Station.
Hernandez was referring to the famous Trojan Horse, a massive wooden structure that Odysseus created to fake out the enemy and breach their borders. “I think the movie looks very exciting,” he said. “Very epic.”
“You know that part where they take all the drugs on the island?” film composer Chris Hajian, whose friend and frequent creative partner, actor John Leguizamo, appears in the movie, told The Post. “When Odysseus and his men meet the Lotus Eaters, and eat flowers and forget everything? I could use some of that right now in these times. Couldn’t we all?”
High school student Emma Hardy, 17, pointed out that, “Everyone has to read it in school so you remember your favorite parts. Like the mermaids, the goddesses. But I don’t think I could tell you their names.”
Fashion publicist Molly Roecker said her knowledge of Greek literature was, well, all Greek to her.
“I was one of those awful teacher’s pets who genuinely liked school,” she explained to The Post. “But I could honestly tell you that right now, my Odyssey knowledge is zero.” Except, she admitted, for the goddess Athena, because she is played in the movie by her favorite actress, Zendaya.
“I want any version of mythology,” she said, “that includes Zendaya in Schiaparelli Couture.”
Thousands of New Yorkers are on the same page.
According to Connor Goodwin, the brainy PR whiz at the New York Public Library, over 1500 digital copies of the ebook and audiobook are currently checked out, and hold requests for the print book have increased 128 percent since last month. That’s more than double the usual demand for the ancient text.
At McNally Jackson in Midtown, a clerk confirmed that the book was “huge” with current shoppers, appearing on the bestseller table alongside the divorce memoir “Strangers” and Shirlene Obuobi’s new romance, “Between Friends and Lovers.”
Perhaps the most heated words of the (very hot) day came, appropriately, in line for Myka Greek Frozen Yogurt in Rockefeller Center. “You guys should know this!” admonished a finance intern named Alexis to her college pals. “I’m Italian and Greek and ‘The Odyssey is so important.’ It’s history. It’s adventure. Come on.”
She says her favorite part is when Odysseus and his men confront a group of mermaids, or sirens. “They lure all the men to their deaths and eat them. Like, let’s go.”
