They’re saying “I don’t” — to being a bridesmaid.
Amid the soaring costs of weddings for lovebirds, the financial burden and time commitment placed on bridal parties are forcing Gen Z and millennial bridesmaids to turn down the once-coveted role.
According to Zola, Business Insider reports, the cost of weddings has increased by approximately 13% this year alone, averaging about $33,000 for the big day.
Allison Cullman, the vice president of brand marketing and strategy for the wedding planning platform, told the outlet that weddings have become a multi-day event, with an uptick in destination nuptials and a 23% rise in welcome parties over the last year.
The extravagant ceremonies and three-day ordeals are, in part, a result of social media.
“Back in the day you had wedding magazines and binders — now you have multiple social platforms that are always at your fingertips,” Cullman told BI.
The lovebirds, she said, are now attempting to meet an “unrealistic” idea of what their big day should be, which is “way outside” of their budget — and their wedding parties.
Coupled with the time-consuming nature of helping the bride prepare and plan, bridesmaids are starting to refuse to join the bridal party.
Afrakomah Darko, 27, told BI that being a bridesmaid has cost her a whopping $12,000. The financial strain has prompted her to vow an indefinite decline to all bridal party invitations from now on, she said in a TikTok video.
“We need to normalize saying no to being people’s bridesmaids of maids of honor,” UK-based content creator Stephanie Greenstreet, 27, said in a recent TikTok.
After being her sister’s maid of honor, she realized the job is “hard work,” time-consuming and an ultimate test of friendship. She couldn’t imagine having the same responsibilities for anyone else after that.
“I think that we’re finally kind of seeing that shift where people are saying, ‘No I don’t know if I’m able to do that,’” Greenstreet told BI.
To mitigate any surprise costs or unexpected burdens to their wallets, Greenstreet’s sister explained the financial costs of participating to each bridesmaid when asking them to be part of the wedding party.
According to Cullman, members of wedding parties are expected to attend upwards of six or seven nuptial-related events — bridal showers, bachelor and bachelorette trips, the welcome party, rehearsal dinner and, of course, the ceremony. Not to mention, bridal parties will often meet with the bride-to-be to help plan.
“To the brides out there: If someone says no to being your maid of honor or your bridesmaid or whatever, I genuinely think evaluate whether that was for the best,” Greenstreet said online.
“I know it’s a really hurtful thing when you’ve asked someone and you’ve gone out of your way and you think this person’s really special to you, but if you need what you’re gonna need from them and they think that they can’t give it, you’re saving yourself in the long run.”
