Have you ever heard of such a thing as the “good seat” at a restaurant?
I hadn’t — until I realized it has been ingrained into our dating culture without us even realizing.
For those as confused as I was, it’s the cushioned “booth side” of the table, or the seat with the better view, often facing towards the center of the restaurant.
As a single woman in my early 30s, I’ve awkwardly navigated all sorts of modern-day dating etiquettes — from pre- and post-date formalities to who pays.
And while I appreciate romance as much as the next woman, I never actually noticed the silent chivalry of the “good seat” until I looked around the restaurant the other night, and it hit me: every woman had been given the same seat that my date had so thoughtfully offered me.
Etiquette expert Jo Hayes believes it’s a simple gesture that goes a long way.
“I definitely think that a man should give a woman the ‘good seat’ at a cafe or restaurant,” Hayes told News.com.au.
“Like other gentlemanly dating behaviors such as paying or pulling out the chair, it comes down to ensuring the woman feels special and taken care of.”
She goes as far to say that this should be extended to “any” woman, whether that be his mother, sister, aunt, or a colleague.
“To put it simply, it’s a chivalrous demonstration of courtesy and respect,” she explained.
Is chivalry alive and well?
We’ve seen the likes of “Bridgerton” and “Wuthering Heights” taking over our screens — which begs the question: is “old school romance” quietly making a comeback?
It depends on who you ask.
Experts say that in a landscape of mixed signals and minimal effort, “romantic” gestures are still an important part of dating.
“I think both men and women are leaning towards a return to traditional gender roles, including chivalrous gentlemanly behavior on dates,” Hayes says.
“But fellas, rest assured — all those traditional dating behaviors that you want to do but were too nervous, just do them,” she urges.
Hayes points to other “gentlemanly” acts like opening doors, letting the woman walk through first, letting her order first, and texting to say you had a lovely time.
“Truly, most of the traditional dating etiquette behaviors are as relevant today as they were 50 years ago,” Hayes adds.
“The vast majority of women love them, and being treated like a lady makes her feel safe and pursued.”
What women really want
After doing some digging, I discovered that many other women appreciate the “good” seat when dining in a romantic context.
One content creator, Yelly, took to TikTok to share that, “At the restaurant, all the women are sitting on the booth side [and] all the men are on the outside.”
Similarly, another creator, MissingDevon, posted a viral video showing couples seated at a restaurant with most women in the “booth seat” — bar one.
In the clip captioned: “Only a girl could tell you what is wrong in this video,” one woman is sitting with her back to the bustle of a busy restaurant, while her male counterpart enjoys the “comfy” seat.
The clip amassed more than five million views, and the comment section was filled with young women arguing that the woman should be sitting in a comfortable booth.
“Why is she sitting on the chair?” one asked.
“The princess should be on the couch,” someone else argued.
“I would cry if he made me sit on the chair and he took the booth,” another confessed.
“He has taken the comfy cushion seat, making her sit on the wooden chair, and all the other guys are on chairs,” someone else observed.
So, the verdict is out.
In a dating climate full of ghosting, gaslighting and love-bombing, less really is more.
A simple gesture like offering the good seat might just guarantee a second date — and who knows, maybe even a lifetime of staring lovingly at a blank wall while she people-watches from the plush booth.
