It’s time to bond outside the Zoom room with your co-workers. No, really. Slack is great and all, but a best friendship it does not make.
“On a professional level, work friends can be trusted people to whom we can turn for professional advice and feedback, whether it’s how to tackle a specific challenge we are having or to support us in our professional development,” said Shira Schuster, Ph.D., a licensed clinical psychologist of Williamsburg Therapy Group in Brooklyn.
“Work friends are essential because they can be real-time sounding boards,” echoed Prerika Agarwal, MBA, a certified career coach and the founder of Inspiration Careers in Washington, DC. “They give practical advice, not just theoretical, because they’ve been in the same meetings and know the same people.”
As Schuster highlighted, our work friends might also be connected to others in the industry and thus help with networking. And on a personal level, work friends can provide social and emotional support, making work more enjoyable.
By contrast, Schuster said working from home can contribute to a feeling of loneliness, so having that proverbial “work wife” can help employees feel more connected and “plugged in” to the workplace.
Ahead, easy strategies to lock down a work BFF, regardless of where you work.
Join the club
“Participate in your company’s online social groups or interest clubs,” said Agarwal. “Whether it’s a book club or other interest, being active in these groups helps you meet colleagues with similar interests. Engage in conversations, contribute to discussions and show genuine interest in what others share.”
Whether in the flesh or via video chat, these community builders are important in establishing meaningful connections.
Help out however you can
It may seem obvious, but lending a helping hand to colleagues is an often-overlooked fast track to friendship. Agarwal stressed the importance of offering to help co-workers whenever you can, whether it’s project assistance, sharing helpful resources or lending a listening ear. This can create a strong foundation for friendship, she said, plus people appreciate those who are helpful so they’re more likely to reciprocate.
These concepts apply even if you have a virtual workplace. In her own career, Agarwal worked with her now-friend Charlie for over three years without ever meeting in person.
“We shared best practices, networking tips and supported each other through work challenges,” she recalled. “It made my day so much better to have someone who understood the company culture and the people we worked with. Charlie was both an adviser and a friend, which made a huge difference.”
Set a virtual coffee date . . .
Agarwal is a proponent of the virtual coffee chat with colleagues. A mainstay during the pandemic, they’ve now fallen to the wayside, but can actually be beneficial in career- and friendship-building.
“Just send a casual message to someone you want to know better and suggest a quick video call. Talk about work, but also share personal interests to build rapport,” said Agarwal. “Doing this regularly helps establish a genuine connection.”
For a thoughtful gesture, you can send someone a Starbucks or Instacart gift card in the same way that you might treat a colleague to a beverage in the flesh.
For those who are fully remote, Schuster is also a fan of virtual lunch breaks so you can chat over video while you take a break from work.
. . . Or an in-person coffee date
If you’re working in the office or on a hybrid schedule, Schuster said you could suggest to a co-worker to go to lunch or coffee together once or twice a month, when you are both in the office.
“If you’re not sure what to talk about, the conversation can always be focused on work initially, and will likely veer to more personal topics (family, hobbies) as you keep talking,” suggested Schuster.
Be kind, always
Make an effort to get to know people’s names and try to be friendly and open in your demeanor, said Schuster.
“Ask questions that show a genuine interest and ask follow-up questions,” like what they plan to do on the weekend, then ask them how it went the next time you see them. Schuster also recommends sharing some things about yourself that others can respond to.
Say, “ ‘I’m going to get a coffee at [name a place]. I can’t live without coffee! What about you? Are you a coffee person?’ Colleagues usually respond positively to others if they show a genuine interest and care,” said Schuster.
Plan a fun event
“If you work as part of a team, you can organize or participate in team building/social events (either in person or remotely) where you can get to know your co-workers a bit more,” said Schuster. “If there is someone you are interested in becoming friends with, you can learn a bit more about them in these types of events, and then strike up a related conversation.”
For example, if some of your colleagues are tennis buffs, plan a round-robin tournament. If you discover other co-workers love cooking, hire a chef to teach a virtual or in-person class. If you aren’t a head honcho who can book these kinds of gatherings on a company card, reach out to your HR department to see if your company has a budget designated for these kinds of team-bonding affairs.
Whichever method you implement, don’t be shy about seeking out camaraderie with your co-workers.
“Building friendships at work, especially remotely, takes effort but is definitely worth it,” said Agarwal. “Having someone who truly understands your work environment can make a huge difference in both your professional success and personal happiness.”
