James* and Meg* have a baby girl, Thalia, who just turned 9 months old.
“Two months ago, we stopped talking to my parents after they pulled some s–t,” the dad explained on an AITA forum. “We basically decided it was gonna be up to Thalia when she older if she wants to get her ears pierced.
“I was never into the idea of it being done as a baby when they can’t consent, like Meg’s parents pierced her ears when she was a baby, and she always hated wearing earrings. Still doesn’t wear any.”
But apparently, his parents “didn’t shut up about” getting it done, insisting “she’d look so cute.”
James and Meg continued to tell them that their decision was final, but his parents still decided to go against their wishes and organize it themselves.
The end of baby-sitting duties
James explained: “When they babysat for us once, they got one of my mum’s friends to do it, and we were so pissed they went behind our backs.”
They ended up cutting contact with their parents after they did this, which was a decision that a lot of their extended family disagreed with.
“Everyone was saying we were making a big deal, and we can’t cut them out of their granddaughter’s life over something like that,” he continued.
“So we decided they could only see Thalia when one of us was around, and they wouldn’t be left alone with her.
“That’s where everyone is still saying we’re being massive a–holes because we’re still punishing them over something that’s not a big deal and we’re treating them like children. Even Meg’s parents think that only letting them have supervised visits is too much, and they should be allowed to babysit or have Thalia at their place alone like before.”
The growing pressure has been getting to the couple, so they’ve asked for the internet’s advice: “Are we being a–holes that we just don’t trust them alone with her and rather one of us be there always?”
‘They’re lucky they’re even allowed to see her’
“I wouldn’t be leaving my child with them ever again,” the top comment read. “My mum cut my daughter’s fringe and I lost it; this is another level altogether.
“What will be the next thing they decide they know better on? They’re lucky they’re even allowed to see her, honestly.”
“This is a medical procedure without parents’ consent; I 100% get why you would be annoyed and cut contact,” wrote a second.
“This is not a medical procedure,” someone else replied. “This is body mutilation, without the parent’s knowledge or consent, and performed by someone without a license (or so it seems). Honestly, a judge might grant a restraining order for this, and possible jail time,” replied someone else.
Others said the extended family were in the wrong, just as much as James’ parents.
“I’d consider going no/low contact with anyone who tells you this isn’t a big deal; I wouldn’t leave my kid alone with those people either,” someone added.
Another user advised: “Giving in just shows them they can do it, you’ll be mad for a little while, and things will return to normal. They knew your stances on it, were told multiple times no, and still decided to put your daughter through a procedure that alters a part of her body. That’s a hard no from me.”
