Ghosted on dating apps, rejected by colleges and passed over for jobs — rejection isn’t fleeting for Gen Z. In fact, it’s becoming a defining feature of their collective identity.
As young adults come of age in a culture shaped by hyper-curated digital existences, political tumult and cultural and economic instability, a new pattern has emerged: Gen Z is facing more rejections at more critical life stages than any recent generation.
What happens when the entire group begins to internalize “no” as the default response?
Author Delia Cai says Gen Z egos or their alleged “sense of entitlement” isn’t what’s at stake — rather, it’s “our expectation of agency in an increasingly mediated world.”
Last month, she wrote a Business Insider article telling the story of one largely anonymous Gen Zer named Em, recounting the hundreds of rejections they’ve faced while looking to pin down their next opportunity for a potential breakthrough.
Living with a loved one while scraping by on a few hundred dollars a month from contract work, Em lamented living a life they feel is “not worth living at the moment.”
But Em isn’t alone, and the article explores the rejection factor that may be largely fueling many of the titles Gen Zers wear to make them the “unhappiest generation.”
“From education to careers to romance, never before have young adults had this much access to prospective yeses. And, in turn, never before have young adults been told no so frequently,” Cai writes.
In the dating world, Gen Zers have access to more potential partners than perhaps any other generation before them, and it’s all at their fingertips. Yet, at the same time, the age group is getting married years after their Baby Boomer grandparents did, swiping through potential partners, going out on dates with multiple people only to get rejected and reject others at astronomically high rates.
Cai points out that the fear of rejection may prevent them from taking that next giant leap, leaving them to stay in isolation and swipe through social media, watch Netflix and socially withdraw even further.
Gen Z author and influencer Christian Hodges says his generation has not been taught “how to deal with losing,” and that may be to blame.
“From childhood rec leagues to the ‘No Child Left Behind’ grading system, Gen Z has been socially engineered to believe everyone is a winner,’” he told Fox News Digital.
Hodges blames the mentality on what he views as a shift toward socialism, arguing that it’s only healthy “capitalism” to send zoomers back to the drawing board to get better before they get their next breakthrough.
Cai’s words about the fear of rejection feed into Gen Z’s reputation as the “loneliest” generation, the most anxious generation and the generation who lacks much-needed communication skills.
On another front, Cai tells the story of a prospective college student from the age group, identified as a 22-year-old star student named Dylan, who felt dejected after receiving a low number of acceptances to the approximately 20 universities he applied to, despite having a 4.7 GPA and experience with varsity sports.
He told the outlet, “I just remember feeling like it wasn’t necessarily our qualifications that mattered, that it was just like, hopefully, the right person read it on the right day.”
Hodges acknowledged that zoomers have been “gaslit” into believing a college education will open doors they’ve always dreamed of entering.
“When was networking taught in high school, let alone college?” he asked. “How about real, applicable skills? When were blue-collar fields shown to be undersaturated and a real option?”
College admissions are similar to the job market in this way. Not only are Gen Zers getting ghosted by potential partners, but they’re also left hanging by prospective employers, and data from career-focused sites point to their fruitless efforts despite applying for numerous jobs.
Cai reported that, of the zoomers she had spoken to, their job rejections typically hovered in the hundreds.
