If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.
It’s not a motto you’d usually apply to a toddler tantrum, but Julia Stepowska is all for it.
It’s why she started a business offering a safe space for adults to unleash.
“Like we were at a rave or something”
“The idea of the Tantrum Party was inspired by talking to mothers about how our children have no fear or inhibitions in expressing their raw emotions – and we wish we could do that too,” Stepowska told Kidspot.
“Maybe not in the middle of the supermarket, but somewhere safe where we could really feel it out.”
The Sydney mother is a coach and breathworker as well as a facilitator for mothers’ circles.
Now she’s expanding, giving parents an opportunity to let out big, often suppressed emotions (likely put there by their children).
“Tantrum Party is an opportunity to get out of your head and into your body, so you can move heavy energy but also practice being present and connected with your internal world in a fun and supportive way,” she explained.
Last Sunday, she had her first session, and it was a hit!
To begin, parents sit in a circle on the floor to connect and create a sense of safety.
Then the real fun begins.
“We got up on our feet and did some angry dancing to some really good music, like we were at a rave or something,” she explained.
“I suggested movements like punching the air, shaking out our hair and stomping feet, but really each person did whatever movement felt right for them. We also had a pillow in the middle of the circle so that the mamas could hit it if they felt called to.”
Afterwards, Stepowska plays sad music to accompany all the emotions that surface after the outburst.
“There were also blankets available in case the mamas wanted to wrap themselves up as if they were getting a nice, warm hug,” she said.
The result of all this?
“I love how much lighter everyone feels after the experience. They have smiles on their faces, and you can tell they have really enjoyed reconnecting with themselves and with each other,” Julie said.
A little tantrum never killed nobody!
As a parent, it may seem counterintuitive, considering we spend most of our waking hours avoiding toddler meltdowns.
However, Stepowska says understanding our emotions helps us better navigate our little one’s responses.
“A lot of adults grew up believing their emotional response was a bad thing,” she said.
She wants to change the perception that tantrums are just our little ones trying to be naughty.
It’s so much more than that.
“Children have immature brains, and tantrums are the body’s way of releasing tension and stress so that the brain doesn’t get too overloaded,” she explained.
Her parties are a space to sit with their emotions so that explosions don’t occur.
“People can train their bodies to allow emotions to flow, rather than thinking of them as a threat,” she said.
She’s now created a waitlist for parents keen to lose their chill.
“The next event will be online. I’ve had so many people reach out from across Australia and the world – so I think online will make this more accessible for them,” she said.
However, she hopes to continue to run sessions in person.
Because if you can’t cry in the freezer aisle while your child is flipping out in the shopping cart, you may as well do it to a banging playlist.
