Here’s some positive advice to help you deal with a negative person.
Jeff Guenther, who goes by @therapyjeff online, recently shared “eight ways to deal with a partner who’s incredibly negative.”
He first suggested that people validate the negative things their partner is talking about “so they feel understood and empathized with.”
Guenther noted that most people have likely tried this — but urged them to give it another shot with this in mind.
“Maybe they keep repeating themselves because that’s all they need from you. Feel free to meet them where they are at and be a little negative too, just don’t live there,” he said.
The therapist also advised people to be “straightforward” about how their partner’s attitude impacts them.
If they continue with the negativity, Guenther recommended that people create a “negativity-free zone.”
“It sounds dumb but works well. Set aside specific times and spaces where complaints and grumbling are completely off the table,” he said.
Guenther also suggested that people establish “emotional boundaries” and be clear about their capacity to handle negativity.
For example, someone could set a limit and say, “I want to support you but I only have about 15 minutes to hear you vent right now.”
Next, he recommended that people “encourage problem-solving” and redirect their partner’s thought process from complaining to finding a solution: “What do you think could help fix that?”
The therapist also advised that people try to shift the conversation by changing the subject.
He also encouraged people not to take their partner’s negativity personally.
If all these tactics fail, Guenther emboldened people to “consider compatibility” with their Debbie Downer.
“If their negative feelings are chronic and unchangeable, it’s okay to question things. You have permission to end the relationship if their constant negativity is dragging you down,” he said at the end of the video.
